Imma sucker for Cinderella-esq plot lines. Never Been Kissed, Devil Wears Prada, She's All That, Pretty Woman, Grease, The Princess Diaries, Miss Congeniality ... Jesus even Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire featured our very own new-wave, pave-her-own-path, know-it-all heroine Hermione Granger gets one of those "OH MAH GAWD" staircase scenes (what the hell, Rowling??). 9 times out of, well, 9 those makeovers are done to advance these women in one of two fields: men or career (in Pretty Woman's case these are, inevitably, interchangeable). I know right, positively Medieval. Yet I still get a kick out of imagining Freddie Prinze Jr. oogling me and swaying to some Sixpence None the Richer if only I'd exchange my bifocals for blush, wash the paint out of my hair, and fall adorably into his arms while awkwardly attempting to navigate stilettos. I suppose I like the movies because they somehow promote the idea that within each of us is something beautiful waiting to blossom, if only we can escape our cacoons. What is so twisted is that these films make it seem as if in order for a girl to become a real woman, she has to not only shed her insecurities and develop her own voice, but she has to do it all while learning how to apply eyeliner and endure painful brow-tweezing procedures. Maybe the ugly ducking would have been better off staying ugly... at least she wouldn't have had to learn the which of the thousands of shades of foundation looked best on her beak.
stay tuned for TOP TEN SIMILARITIES BETWEEN MEGAN FOX AND HELEN OF TROY... aka the boobs that launched a thousand dicepticons
